I was one of those people that never felt ready to become a parent. I always knew I wanted kids but never really backed myself. I had no idea what to expect or if I could handle parenthood. In the last few years, I have learnt so much about myself. I think I’ve grown and developed into a much stronger, calmer, compassionate person since becoming a mum and I thought I’d share a few key things I’ve learnt along the way.
- To be confident and brave.
I was always such a scared, anxious kind of person. I don’t think I will ever loose that part of me, however since becoming a mum I have really worked on becoming a more confident person. I know my two kids are always watching me and if I am scared, they will be too. If I show them that I am brave and out going, they will be more inspired to follow suit. I am well aware that Jack and Jaz are always learning from me. I realised that I needed to be a positive role model and set a really good example for them to follow. I don’t want them being too scared to try new things, or being afraid to put themselves out there in life. I’m always working on myself and I really hope the kids grow up with great self esteem and a real go getter, can do attitude!
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
I would definitely call myself a perfectionist so I struggled when I first became a mum. I wanted the house to be spotless, my baby to sleep through the night, my washing to be up to date and the list went on and on! I have had to learn that not everything has to be perfect. I would much rather cuddle my baby when they need it and forget about the silly stuff. I always tell myself the kids are only small for a little while. So just try to remember to not worry so much about the little things that aren’t getting done. You’re keeping a tiny little human happy and alive and for that you’re doing a great job.
3. Go with your gut.
Gut instinct is massive for me. I have had so many parenting wins by following my gut feeling including the birth of my little man Jack. If I didn’t follow my instinct with his birth, he would have ended up in a really bad way. (That’s a whole new story for a different post though). Most people have heard the saying ‘a mothers intuition’ and I truly believe it is one of the most powerful tools we can have as long as we pay attention and listen to it. I have ignored my instincts many times and it always ends up that I should have followed it. We need to back ourselves and trust that we know what’s right for our kids.
4. Only run your own race.
Mothers are soooo competitive and at the start of my parenting journey I would find myself comparing Jack to the other babies around us. I would worry if he wasn’t reaching the same milestones, or doing the same things. How ridiculous is that? I think initially we doubt ourselves and we are so unsure of what we are doing that we are desperate to keep up. I am so different these days. It took Jack ages to be toilet trained but he got there. Jaz still doesn’t sleep through the night, but she will get there. Don’t worry about what others are doing. As long as you are happy and confident with your parenting and as long as there are no serious concerns, just know that your little one will get there at their own pace.
5. Only take on the advice that’s best for you.
Becoming a parent is the most overwhelming experience and as you will find, many people will give you all sorts of advise. What you just have to try and remember is that people are coming from a kind place and to try not to take their opinions the wrong way. I have had many people give me parenting advise that I haven’t agreed with so I just brush it off and keep doing what I am happy with. No one knows your child like you do, so be confident you are doing the right thing. I parent a little bit left of centre, so I am constantly being given advise on what I should be doing. I am so happy with how my kids are turning out that I don’t really take much notice to the know it alls. In saying that, I am always open to learning new things and open to hearing new tips and tricks and I only take on board what is best for our family.
I hope these tips will help you in some way and if you know anyone about to become a parent, maybe you could share this with them. Feel free to comment with the one thing you have learnt since you became a parent. I would love to see what wins you’ve had along the way.
Until next time,